And now a summary of what’s happening in the news:
President’s son Muhoozi promoted to Colonel
Muhoozi: “I often wonder what people mean when they say I am being groomed for presidency.”
Behind the scenes: “Who the hell keeps snitching? I need to pounce it on them as a surprise.”
Mehta officials tour Buganda land
Buganda: “We want to assure the Mehta Group that we are serious about this offer, and that these properties are available for their use.”
Behind the scenes: “Coz I swear we’re tired of putting sweet potatoes in the Kabaka’s tea.”
Ex-VP Bukenya says he is not retiring from politics
Bukenya: “I spent a whole six years without coming to Parliament when I was Vice President. Now I am in Parliament and I must do the work of Parliament.”
Behind the scenes: “ Yellow Bossman gave them 500k each just for attending a meeting and they want to eat it on me? Where?”
KCCA officials sigh as govt okays salaries, pays arrears
Lukwago: “I am comfortable with any salary they will offer me so long as it can sustain me to effectively serve my electorate.”
Behind the scenes: “And serving the electorate requires money like for Jennifer. So stop playing with my feelings like that. Give me money.”
Former LRA commander Kwoyelo free
Constitutional court: “He is entitled to a declaration that their acts are inconsistent with Article 21(1) (2) of the Constitution and thus null and void. We so find.”
Behind the scenes:
“Gwe! Psst! You! My lawyer! Do they speak English here?”
“Yes, that was English and it means you’re free.”
“Oh. I thought they were making a big deal out of me cutting off a few tongues here and there.”