HomeNewsThe Mother News Summary Of All Other Fake News Summaries

The Mother News Summary Of All Other Fake News Summaries

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And now a summary of what’s happening in the news:

President’s son Muhoozi promoted to Colonel

Muhoozi: “I often wonder what people mean when they say I am being groomed for presidency.”

Behind the scenes: “Who the hell keeps snitching? I need to pounce it on them as a surprise.”

Mehta officials tour Buganda land

Mabira Saga

Buganda: “We want to assure the Mehta Group that we are serious about this offer, and that these properties are available for their use.”

Behind the scenes: “Coz I swear we’re tired of putting sweet potatoes in the Kabaka’s tea.”

 

Ex-VP Bukenya says he is not retiring from politics

Gilbert Bukenya

Bukenya: “I spent a whole six years without coming to Parliament when I was Vice President. Now I am in Parliament and I must do the work of Parliament.”

Behind the scenes: “ Yellow Bossman gave them 500k each just for attending a meeting and they want to eat it on me? Where?”

KCCA officials sigh as govt okays salaries, pays arrears

Lord Mayor Lukwago

Lukwago: “I am comfortable with any salary they will offer me so long as it can sustain me to effectively serve my electorate.”

Behind the scenes: “And serving the electorate requires money like for Jennifer. So stop playing with my feelings like that. Give me money.”

Former LRA commander Kwoyelo free

Brigadier Kwoyelo

Constitutional court: “He is entitled to a declaration that their acts are inconsistent with Article 21(1) (2) of the Constitution and thus null and void. We so find.”

Behind the scenes:

“Gwe! Psst! You! My lawyer! Do they speak English here?”

“Yes, that was English and it means you’re free.”

“Oh. I thought they were making a big deal out of me cutting off a few tongues here and there.”

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